For Spite!

 

Spite. What a word. Very evocative, don't you think, of exactly what it means? It kind of spits itself out of your mouth, just like the person directing their anger at you would probably like to. Spit at you, I mean. Interesting how the word spite is so close to spit when you think about how spiteful people often spit spittle. At least, they always seem to in the movies. But I digress.

Spite, according to Webster is: a desire to harm, anger, or defeat another person especially because you feel that you have been treated wrongly in some way ...

I have been on the receiving end of spite a few times, and it is always a strange and disconcerting experience. Because there is no talking to spiteful people, no matter how well intentioned you may be. I have acted out of spite a few times in my early foolish youth, (as opposed to my later, foolish age) and it was always a self correcting experience. In other words, I soon learned the truth of that old saying "...to cut off your nose to spite your face." I also found I did not like myself much before, during or after, so by the time I was a teenager, I pretty much gave up on spite. Besides, I lucked into a fairly decent nose. Apparently it was my great grandmother's but since she was done with it, she passed it on to me. Might as well keep it for posterity.

I like to think everyone is always doing their best. Their best to be fair, their best to be kind, their best to be considerate, their best to be earnest and truthful. I like to think that of myself, too. Of course, the hard truth is, we all fail on such noble quests from time to time. Sometimes due to negligence, other times due to simple self delusion. But every so often, I just don't know why and I have to accept that as well as the experience. And it sucks. Especially when whatever you did to anger someone to such a degree they descend into the seven hells of spite, was your very best to handle what was perhaps a far from perfect situation. Then spite sucks double because no matter what you do, youse agonna be wrong.

What I have learned from my own forays into spite, however, is that while being on the receiving end of spite sucks, being on the spewing end of spite sucks worse. Because you are deaf and blind to reason, you know only the pain of what you perceive to be your victimhood, and all the while you twist and turn in the screeching gales of your rage, the emotional damage done by the stomping rampage of spite through your heart and soul and mind leave behind footprints burned in acid into the sensitive pathways they travel. And in the end, you are the one who are defeated, on every level, for you were bathing in the poison of ill will and waiting for your opponent to die. And you know what? That sucks triple.

So this is what I know of spite. It is not worth indulging. It is not worth reacting. It is not worth your pain. Respond as you must, and cease. Do what you must, and move on. Give the benefit of doubt, but draw your line in the sand. Protect yourself, but know the true source of spite is pain and self hatred, and offer compassion when you want to drop a bomb. Never mind if it is received or not. Be your best. Then get on with your life, and live it well - in spite of it all. Because anything else? Would suck......well, worse than anything else I've mentioned so far.